You would think this is the most ridiculous thing to find yourself focused on. Chap stick. What a tiny thing in such a busy life, but I have been sitting here all morning thinking and my mind keeps going back to this tiny tube of Carmex. I think its how much it reminds me of home that I can’t get away from. There is not a lot in your daily activity in prison that makes you feel at home. It’s loud, bright, and stressful. All day. For these few seconds when I was putting on this chapstick this morning I was right back at home. Maybe it was the connection in my brain of that smell to home. I remember using it all throughout my childhood, its what my father had around the house. They say smell has the strongest connection of all senses. Whatever it is, I think the point is how much prison has made me realize how much I appreciate the little things in life. You would usually just go about your day with not a bit of thought as to something as minuscule as a two buck tube of chapstick. At least I know I would pay it no mind. Now that tube of chapstick is the closest connection to home in my day. Though any of time they mean nothing, those little things hold so much power when they are all you have to keep yourself uplifted throughout your day. I don’t understand how I ever took anything in life for granted. I know one thing though, I never will again. For now though, I will just put on some more chapstick and remember how much I have to look forward to. How lucky I am and have been, to not just have the big things in life, but the little things too. We almost seem to get so caught up in our lives to not reflect on the beauty of it all.
How strange and amazing it is to just exist at all.